Empty Desire
by BR13
Summary: After being in an incident, Mashiro Kurokami is supposed to die but someone or something saved him for the cost of his memories and shadow. He ends up in Gensokyo remembering nothing but his name and necessities for survival. Upon meeting Futo, he discovers he is the human that is closest to immortality. Now, Futo brings him to Miko with the plan to find out his secrets...
1. Chapter 1

Empty Desire

A Touhou Fanfic

Disclaimer

This is a work of fiction. All names, organizations, and events that resemble any real persons, organizations and events are purely coincidental. Though, some of the events and organizations are based on existing events and organization and is not own by the author. I do not own names, skills, and others that resemble other games, novels, manga, anime, and others.

* * *

Prologue:

That moment, I pushed someone out of the way of a falling block of cement from some building.

That the time I lost everything.

-Am I really going to die…

_Yes you are…_

_But we can give you another chance…_

_So, do you want to live or do you want to die?_

-I want to live…

That was the time when I, Kurokami Mashiro, a regular human being, died or more so vanished from this world. That was the time I lost everything in exchange for a new life. My memories. My shadow. The only thing I remember is what I need to live and my name.

* * *

Chapter 1: So That Others May Live

I woke up in an unfamiliar forest wearing a different set of clothes. I was wearing a white shirt with a black sweater vest and tie, a pair of black pants with a belt, the pair of glasses I always wear and a pair of headphones with an inverted pentagram. Also to my surprise, there are two duffel bags, one filled with clothes and the other one is filled with weapons. The first thing that came in to my mind is where I am.

I looked around the forest. There is an unidentified being that attacked me. To my disbelief, it looked like a yokai. I know I have to run. I have to get away from here. But my feet won't move. It's trembling from fear.

But then there was a blaze of fire that forced the yokai to run away.

"Are you all right?"

A girl that came out asked me.

She is wearing a _kariginu_ or a _suikan_ modified with the addition of a purple skirt, with an _eboshi_ atop her headn uniform with a blue skirt.

"Yes thanks to you."

I said as I stood up.

Then that was when I remembered to ask where I am.

"Umm, excuse me miss, but where exactly am I?"

"Eh, are you lost?"

"You can say that. I just woke up here."

"So do you remember where you were before you passed out or where you live?"

"No, the only thing I remember is my name. I mean, I don't even know why I have these."

"That's a serious problem."

But then a scythe suddenly stuck somewhere by my neck, missing my jugular by 5mm. It was done by a different girl.

"tsk"

"Why, who's that?"

"She's a shinigami that is after me."

"Calm down, I'm not after you, Mononobe no Futo. I'm here for him, Kurokami Mashiro."

"For me? why?"

"You're the only human closest to immortality."

Mononobe-san looked at me.

I'm in trouble. I'm going to die without knowing anything. I'm not going to allow that but what can I do? As I moved back, I accidently touched something useful, a stun grenade.

Surprisingly, I know how to use it and I did. I closed my eyes right before it exploded. After hearing the faint explosion muffled by my headphones, I grabbed my bags and Mononobe-san's hand and ran away from there.

* * *

My eyes are still a bit blinded from earlier and there is still that faint ringing in my ear but I can feel someone is dragging me. That's right I'm running. Then my vision became clear. It was that guy I saved earlier. He is holding my hand with his right and carrying a pair of heavy bags on his left. His grip on me is really strong and thanks to him, we escaped the shinigami.

Still one thing is bothering me. It is what that shinigami said. About this guy being the human closest to immortality. That hit me being a hermit with the goal of immortality.

Who is he exactly?

Those where the words going through my head and it bothered me even more after I saw that he has no shadow.

"Umm, do you know where are you going?"

I asked him and he suddenly stopped.

"Where are we going?"

I knew it. He was just running randomly and yet why does it feels like he knows where are we going.

* * *

I'm still running but as I ran fragments of some of my memories came back. It all has something do with what I am doing now and back then. The reason for my weapons in the bag… I am someone that should exist. Then what does that shinigami want from me? The human closest to achieving immortality? I don't care a bit about that. But all I know is I have to live. I want to live. So that others may live.

I stopped for a bit to catch my breath and the one I accidentally dragged with me.

"Sorry about that. So, where are we?"

"hah, hah, I don't know. How come you're still okay?"

"I don't know."

"So you're name is Kurokami Mashiro?"

"Yes, but just call me Shiro."

"Okay then, I'm Mononobe no Futo."

"Well Mononobe-san, can you help m…"

Before I even finished my sentence I blacked out and the last thing I remember is hitting the ground.

* * *

Again I woke up in a very unfamiliar place. But this time it appears that I'm in some sort of room. A very traditional room with things placed in an odd manner. I found my bags on the corner of the room. I then stood up.

"Oh, it looks like you're awake."

There was another girl by the door. She is wearing a bit modern clothes compared to the one I met earlier and like me, she has a pair of headphones.

"Ummm, thanks for helping me but where am I?"

That question became somewhat of a frequent phrase with me.

"You're in the Hall of Dreams' Great Mausoleum."

"Who brought me here?"

"It was Futo."

"Mononobe-san?"

"Yes."

"Then I have to thank he…"

Then my head started aching.

"Hey are you okay?"

"My head it hurts."

"Stay still okay."

My vision is blurring again. I'm going to black out again. NO! Not this time. I then bit my hand to give me pain in order to avoid blacking out.

It worked. I got control of my senses and avoided blacking out.

"So Futo said that you have no memory what so ever?"

"Most of them. All I remember are the basic things that have been drilled in to my subconscious mind and my name."

"It seems that it is true. Your eyes have no life as if you're empty. There is also your missing shadow."

"I also has this crazy shinigami trying to kill me while spouting some nonsense about being very close to immortality."

"What? So you're a hermit as well."

"What's a hermit?"

"Humans that seek strive for immortality. Futo and I are also hermits."

"I really don't care about immortality. Without any memories, purpose, nor goal, I might as well be dead but I want to live. I need to find a purpose for once I was denied of being exist."

"So, you were like that."

"At least those are the only things I remember."

"I see. Well, I'm Toyosatomimi no Miko. If you want, I'll let you stay here until you recover your memories. I'm sure our training might help you with recovering your memories."

"Fine then. I'm Kurokami Mashiro but I prefer to be called Shiro."

"Okay then."

That was the time I became a vassal for Toyosatomimi-san.

* * *

I am going to where we let Shiro stay. It was right next to my room. I entered the almost barren room which is only decorated by the things that are originally there. Also Shiro isn't here. That was when I took a look at his belongings. There was nothing useful there that could make him regain his memories.

"What are you doing Mononobe-san?"

It was Shiro. He saw me looking through his things. When I looked at him, I saw him as though he was disappearing. I can't even feel his presence.

"Sorry. I just thought that…"

"I know but I already did that. Though I have to tell you that I remembered something while we are running…"

"What is that?"

"I was someone that doesn't exist."

"I don't understand."

"Just say that I have a skill set that made me special."

"What is that?"

"Assassinations, search and rescue, search and destroy, gathering information, driving, piloting, CQB, and sniping. I had a very gray and red life."

"Is that all you remember."

"It's just the skills and some of the things I did."

"So do you remember how old are you?"

"I don't know."

"Then, do you have a girlfriend?"

"I don't know. Eh, wait, why are you asking me that?"

"No real reason."

I looked at Shiro. He's eyes are dark and lifeless. His emptiness is reflected by his light blue eyes. There is that empty feeling. I was extremely worried.

"Why don't I show you around the town tomorrow, Shiro?"

"Sure why not."

* * *

In the world without any sense, or to say the world that saved Shiro from death, is where the six spirits that contracted Shiro.

Luce the divine spirit…

Ombra the shadow spirit…

Undine the water spirit…

Sylph the wind spirit…

Gnome the earth spirit…

And Salamandra the Fire spirit…

These six resides with in Shiro and each holds a fragment of his memory.

"So, when are we going to do give him back his memories and his shadow?"

Luce said as if she is feeling any sympathies for Shiro.

"I agree. If this goes on, Shiro might die before even reaching our goal."

Undine said.

"No, not yet. He must not yet know of our existence for when he does, he'll kill himself."

Salamander said.

"That's right. For the sake of the revival of the true son of man, the lord of all beings!"

Ombra said.

"*sigh* anything goes. As long as I get to have fun."

Sylph said.

And so their argument continued.

* * *

I woke up around 4 a.m. for some unknown reason. There I decided to make breakfast for everyone here and then do some training. As I walk by the dim hall, some phrases started to bother me. They were "so that others may live", "no one gets left behind", "he who dares wins", "trust your friends, help them when they need it", "don't give up. You're not allowed to give up for any reason", and "be ready with pessimism, act with optimism". That must how I lived when I still had my memories so I decided to live like that.

After cooking breakfast, I left it there with a note and went back to my room. Looking at my things, I have five pairs of what I'm wearing, two tactical vests, magazine holsters, two pairs of sleeping garments, two pairs of jerseys, around 100 meters of high strength rope, and what appears to be rappelling equipment. Why do I even have these? Still it's better to have these when needed. There I changed to my jersey and started to run around the mausoleum. After one hour of running, I cleaned the hall and other empty rooms. I finished around 7 a.m.

I was in my room changing when Mononobe-san entered.

"Wah, Sorry!"

Mononobe-san then turned around.

"It's okay."

I went over her when I finished changing.

"So what bring Mononobe-san here?"

"It's time for breakfast. Shiro cooked it right?"

"Yeah, I kind of woke up early."

We walked toward the dining room when Mononobe-san brought up something.

"Shiro, can you stop calling me Mononobe-san."

"Then what do I call you?

"How about Fu-chan?"

"We're not that close yet. I'll just call you Futo-san."

"Okay then."

* * *

I am sitting in the far corner of the table. I'm a bit nervous since this is the first time I ate with a bunch of girls with me as the only guy or maybe not but still, I'm nervous. Futo-san sat next to me.

"This is good Shiro."

"Thanks Futo-san."

"So you're Kurokami Mashiro."

The ghost like figure across Futo-san, Soga no Tojiko, Soga-san as I call her said.

"Shiro looks kind of dull."

The girl next to her, Kaku Seiga, Kaku-san as I call her, said.

"Maybe I am. After all I don't remember anything prior to yesterday."

"And yet Shiro seem to cook even better that any of us."

Toyosatomimi-san said.

"Maybe I used to cook a lot."

I then felt a murderous aura next to me, to be exact, something that is not living. I looked back and a zombie like girl tried to bite me. As a reflex, I grabbed the pair of chopsticks and placed it in between her mouth rendering her unable to close it. I was shocked that I could even do that.

"Whew, that was close."

"Okay, Shiro passed."

Kaku-san said.

"Passed what Kaku-san?"

"That's a secret."

We continued to eat.

* * *

Shiro and Futo left. Seiga and Tojiko were left here with me sitting.

"So Miko-sama, it seems that he is really capable."

"Seiga's right and he doesn't even remember much at that point."

"Just what is he Miko-sama?"

"The human closest to immortality, Tojiko."

"It would be nice if we could get close to Shiro but it looks like Futo beat us to is."

"Don't worry Seiga. We can take our time."

* * *

I was walking in the Human village with Shiro. I looked at him. He seems much better that he was last night. He looks more alive right now.

"Shiro, you look much better now."

"Well, I decided to accept it. I'll regain my memories someday. But right now, I'll just focus of what's in front of me. After all, if I keep looking back or too far ahead, I'll miss what's in front of me."

Shiro then looked at me.

Our eyes met and my heart started to beat really fast. I felt really hot. It was like being placed in a trance.

"HELP! THERE'S A FIRE!"

Our moment came to an end and Shiro rushed to help.

"My daughter is still in there, please someone save her!"

The lady crying in front of the burning house shouted.

When I looked, Shiro was already in front of the door feeling it. He then kicked it and moved to the side of the door. Then a blast of fire erupted. It is a phenomenon commonly known as backdraft. He then rushed inside and the exit collapsed.

* * *

This is sure a bright idea. Just rush in, find the girl, and get out. I'm out of my mind. I found the girl crying in a less burned room in the second floor near a sink. I checked if there is still water there and to our luck there is. I ripped one of the sleeves on my shirt and damped it with water. I covered the girl's nose and mouth to prevent her from smoke inhalation. As for me I held my breath.

I was carrying the girl on my back while heading back down but the stair collapsed. Just great, I then moved towards the nearest window on a room which is less on fire. I know that once I opened that window, I have seconds to get out before being burned by the backdraft. I kicked it open and jumped out. To cushion the impact, I held the girl in front of me and landed on my back.

Futo-san came running towards me.

"Shiro! Are you okay?"

"*cough* *cough* I'm fine and so is she."

"Thank you so much."

"Don't worry about it."

I stood up and started to walk away.

"Wait. Onii-chan, here's the sleeve of your clothes."

"Oh, thanks."

I smiled back and then continued to walk back.

"Are you crazy? Look at you Shiro, you're all messed up and your clothes are in tatters."

"No clothes are worth more than a person's life. I'm willing to go through hell so that others may live."

We decided to go back so she can help me with my clothes.


	2. Chapter 2

Empty Desire

A Touhou Fanfic

Disclaimer

This is a work of fiction. All names, organizations, and events that resemble any real persons, organizations and events are purely coincidental. Though, some of the events and organizations are based on existing events and organization and is not own by the author. I do not own names, skills, and others that resemble other games, novels, manga, anime, and others.

* * *

Chapter 2: Follow Wind

One month, one week, and two days has passed since I started living with Futo-san and the others, give or take 20 minutes. None of my memories have come back yet but I made a lot of new ones, most of them are with Futo-san. I am really grateful to them for training me on being a hermit. Though, most of the things I do are cooking for them.

"Shiro-kun!"

That was Futo-san, and for some reason, she started to call me that. Also we've been a little close these past few days. I went to her.

"Shiro-kun, help me clean the bath."

"Okay."

We started to clean the bath. I usually use it after the girls.

"Shiro-kun, you're really adjusting to your life here."

"It's all thanks to Futo-san and besides I don't have anything to adjust from."

"That's true."

The two of us laughed.

Noticing the slippery floor, I felt that Futo-san might slip and fall. That is one of my aces, a heightened sense of observation and prediction. Sometimes other people think that I'm a psychic but if fact I'm just hyper-observant.

"Futo-san, watch out!"

Futo-san slipped.

"Kyaaa"

I tried to help her but instead, I was pushed by the momentum and then fell beneath Futo-san. She is so close to me. So close that I can feel her breath.

"Shiro-kun…"

Futo-san looked at me and stared into my eyes with her extremely cute eyes. And for some reason, I was attracted to it. That's when I thought that I like cute things.

"Umm, Futo-san…"

Futo-san then closed her eyes. Please don't tell me this is what I think it is.

"What are you doing Futo-san?"

Futo-san's face started to get closer and closer.

Maybe I should just do it. Kiss her I mean. Even thought her lips are just millimeters away from mine, I still couldn't do it. It's not that I don't like her. It's just that I know I shouldn't do it. With about 3 millimeters distance from our lips, Miko-sama(I started calling her that since she said that since Toyosatomimi-san or Toyosatomimi-sama is quite long and a mouthful) entered.

"Am I interrupting something?"

After being startled, Futo-san and I hurriedly got up. We could barely look each other.

* * *

I smiled at the two who looked fluster after seeing them like that. I could even hear Futo's desire. The only thing that bothered me is that despite Shiro's position, he is still calm and collected. After one month of training him, I noticed that his ability to plan ahead is unbeatable. It is thanks to his great composure. He never panics and always thinks things through. Even now, though he is a bit embarrassed and can't even look at Futo face-to-face.

"Are you guys okay?"

""We're fine.""

"Well, then get changed. We're going to the banguet at the Hakurei Shrine."

I said that after seeing their wet clothes from falling to the bath's floor.

After that I left the two. As I walked back I just thought of a great idea on how to bring Shiro's memories back. Force him in a danmaku battle… The only thing is, he doesn't have any spell cards but that's the point. While thinking about it, I went to see Tojiko and Seiga and talk about this plan. Soon it will be a matter on how much and what Shiro will remember. Then we can uncover his secret to being close to immortality. Futo can't know about this plan. After all, I'm concerned with her relationship with Shiro.

* * *

After changing, I found out that Miko-sama, Tojiko and Seiga went ahead without me and Shiro-kun. What are they thinking? After what happened earlier, I can't even look at him let alone go to the shrine with just the two of us. I sighed. Suddenly, I remembered how close his face was and how I was about to kiss him.

"Ahhh"

I shouted and hugged my pillow.

"Futo-san, we should go soon. I heard that Miko-sama and the rest have already left."

I saw Shiro-kun by the open door.

"Kyaa! You should knock first before entering a maidens room."

"Sorry. And the door was open so I thought it was okay."

He said as he waved his hands. That was when I noticed that he is wearing black fingerless gloves.

Now we are walking towards the shrine. I looked at Shiro-kun who looks like nothing happened between us. I'm still bothered by that so I decided to bring it up.

"Ummm, Shiro-kun, about what happened earlier…"

"Don't worry about it, Futo-san."

"Huh? Why? That kind of thing can cause various misunderstandings."

"I don't care what others think. I might have no shadow, barely any memories, and comparatively weak compared to most of you here but I don't care. So what? People are free to think of whatever they want. It is their freedom but how we make use of what we think is their responsibility."

"So, Shiro-kun, you're saying that if there are rumors of the two of us being together, you won't mind?"

"Yes. Besides what's not to like about you? You're kind, sweet, and cute."

After hearing that and seeing him smile back at me, my heart skipped a beat. This guy really says what he thinks. Maybe he'll share to me his secret to nearing immortality to me.

* * *

Futo-san and I arrived at the Hakurei Shrine. There I felt the wind. I hear its voice. I feel like it is talking to me. It was a nice breeze.

"Becareful Onii-chan…"

I heard those words. It wasn't Futo-san though and it's just the two of us. Where did it come from? Who said that? Something tells me that there is something bad going to happen.

"Ummm, Futo-san, I think I'm going back now. I have a bad feeling about this."

"Come Shiro-kun, don't be like that. Let go."

Futo-san dragged me toward Miko-san and the rest.

* * *

Meanwhile…

"What do do you think you're doing Sylph?"

Ombra said.

But really Sylph is just her title which represents her status as the Wind Spirit. Her real name is Kurokami Kana, Shiro's younger sister.

"I want to play with Onii-chan and have fun. Just waiting here is boring me."

That's right; Kana is very playful and whimsical like the wind. That why she's the Wind Spirit.

"Then Sylph, now that you contacted him, which means you're ready to make a contract with him and return the fragment of his memory you hold?"

"Of course, Luce-nee, after all, were siblings."

Kana smile at the other spirits.

* * *

I let out a deep sigh as I sat underneath a sakura tree.

"What are you sighing for Shiro-kun? Let's drink."

I took the sake that Futo-san offered me. Though I'll only have one.

"So, Shiro, have any of your memories came back yet?"

"Sorry Miko-sama, but I haven't gotten any of my memories yet."

"That's okay you can take your time."

Somehow, I felt that she is planning something. But then, Miko-sama lied down in my lap.

""""Miko-sama?! What are you doing?""""

Kaku-san, Soga-san, Futo-san, and I reacted.

"Just for a while."

"Ahh, Miko-sama, that's not fair."

"You're the one to talk Futo, aren't you always with Shiro? Earlier, you were about to take advantage of your situation."

Futo-san looked down.

"Fine, I'll do this then…"

Futo-san then sat next to me and clung on to my right arm.

Being the most composed among us right now, Kaku-san and Soga-san just quietly sat next to me and cornered me.

I'm now surrounded by the four of them.

"SOMEONE HELP ME!"

I shouted.

So this is the bad feeling I have. I really want to leave right now but I can't. I then closed my eyes and just slept ignoring the four of them.

* * *

I am dreaming… A dream about the past… A fragment of my past…

"Onii-chan, wake up, you'll be late for school."

"Yeah, yeah, I'm awake, Kana-chan."

That is my little sister, Kurokami Kana, a very problematic sister who is always playful and very spontaneous.

She then sat next to me and kissed me in the cheek. She looks ordinary except for her personality. When she wants to do it, she does it. And I found it very troublesome. I have gotten into a lot of trouble because of her.

On our way to school…

"Onii-chan, let's eat out tonight."

"We can't, I have to go shopping for supplies. We'll just go tomorrow."

She looked at me with cute eyes. This must be why I'm weak to Futo-san when she's using this to me.

"Okay then. We'll eat first then buy."

"Yay!"

She got up and hugged me from behind.

Regrettably, we were stopped by a group of, well albeit gagster girls which have been after me and Kana. In fact, their leader is a classmate of mine and someone who is well, in love with me. If I would say, she is my rival and she treats me as such from time to time.

"Let's do this Kana-chan."

"Okay~ onii-chan."

"Oh, playful wind spirit, rage around as you please and lend me your power…"

The seal of the wind appeared in both of our hands. The seal is a knife in front of two feathers.

"Now grant me the speed of the wind and take from in a blade."

Kana disappeared and two short swords appeared in my hand. Listening to the wind and following it, I moved at high speeds away from them. In fact, the speen is only 50% of what I'm capable of.

* * *

I woke up from that dream. Apparently, it has been an hour since I fell asleep. Miko-sama, Kaku-san, and Soga-san are left me there with Futo-san who is drinking sake while leaning on me.

"So I have a little sister eh…"

I murmured to myself.

"What was that Shiro-kun?"

"Umm it's nothing."

Then, Futo-san game me more sake.

"Drink some more Shiro-kun."

"Yeah Shiro, drink some more sake. Maybe when you're wasted you might remember something."

Now even Miko-sama is telling me to drink and it might help me recover my memory. But that is just non-sense. On the other hand, Miko-sama is my employer so I must follow her order. So I drank the sake Futo-san poured for me.

"Nee, Shiro-kun…"

"What is it, Futo-san?"

I have the feeling that if I look at her, she might kiss me so I didn't. I kept looking at the sky and recalled Kana-chan's face.

"You remembered something right Shiro?"

Miko-sama then said.

""Huh?""

Futo-san and I reacted.

"I heard your desire to find your little sister."

"What?! Shiro-kun has a little sister?"

"Yeah, I just had a dream about her. Her name is Kana, and she is immortal. She became the youngest wind spirit and the strongest too."

"You you're a wind spirit as well?"

"Ummm, no, and unfortunately that was all I remember. Anything that has to do with my sister and I is all I remember. A lot is still foggy."

I said.

* * *

That night after the banquet, we went back to our respective homes. That night, I decided to go to Shiro-kun's room and talk about what he remembered. I am nervous. After all, both of us are a bit drunk and it will be just the two of us. I knocked in his room. There was no answer. I tried again and still no answer. I entered the room. I found him sleeping. I looked at him. He really looks peaceful, though he always looks peaceful. But then…

"Who's there?!"

Shiro-kun woke up and pointed one of his weapon to me.

"It's me Shiro-kun."

"Ahh, Futo-san. Sorry about that."

"You're really alert."

"Well, I want to avoid being in some unnecessary things."

"Don't worry, I'm at fault also."

"So want do you want in the middle of the night?"

"I'm just curious on what you remembered?"

"It's quite long and boring."

"I don't mind. We have all night to talk about it."

"Fine. Well, my personality before isn't quite different. Apparently, after training with various agencies when I was young for 10 years, I went back home to my little sister. Then…"

Shiro-kun started to tell his long story, the story of what he remembered at least. While listening, I felt sleepy.

"Are you getting sleepy, Futo-san?"

"A bit."

"Maybe you should go to sleep already."

"I still want to hear more… *Yawn*"

"It's already quite late. Let's just continue tomorrow."

"Fine, but I have one condition. Let me stay here for the night."

"Sure. Why not?"

"EHHH?!"

"What's wrong?"

"I thought you'd refuse."

"Why would I? I don't mind it at all and if you want to sleep here, you're free to do that."

"You really mean that?"

"Yes."

He looked me directly in the eyes.

This guy only thinks of others.

"But that was just a joke."

"Still what you do is up to you. Whatever you happens after that is your responsibility."

"So you're saying that, for example, if I were to ummm, take advantage of you while you're sleeping, I be responsible for whatever happens."

"Well, technically yes. But if I have to say, I would also be partially responsible as well for letting you do as you please."

"Ahh."

I looked away.

"Don't worry about that. I trust that you won't do anything like that and I won't do anything like that too."

"Then let's see about that."

Shiro-kun prepared another futon for me to sleep in. He placed it next to his. Not exactly next to his, but he placed around a meter distance between us. Then we went to sleep.

* * *

"Good morning Shiro-kun…"

I heard Futo-san's sweet voice as I opened my eyes.

"Wha…"

I reacted as I found her in my futon cuddling to me.

Though, it doesn't seem that she sneaked in while I was sleeping. The wind told me so. So the one meter distance wasn't enough. So I acted normally.

"Good morning Futo-san."

I looked at her. That was when I just realized the magnitude of our situation. Futo-san's clothes were very loose. I could almost see her chest from this angle. Also, her legs are sandwiching one of my legs and quite frankly, I don't like it. As for me, I decided to look away. Apparently, she didn't notice it yet.

"Umm… Futo-san, could you please get off of me?"

After realizing it, she got up and away from me.

"Sorry…"

She bowed.

"Don't worry about it. After all it's an accident."

Futo-san and I are quietly cleaning outside when a troublesome bunch appeared.

"Shiro, what's the meaning of this?"

That was Reimu-san and she is apparently showing the bunbunmaru newspaper with an article.

-Toyosatonomimi no Miko claims that Kurokami Mashiro is planning on conquering all the girls in Gensokyo!-

I continued to read the article.

-Kurokami Mashiro, or Shiro for those who knows him, had already started with Mononobe no Futo. Eye witnesses claims that they are really close. Other accounts say that Shiro is also seen to talking with a pair of local magicians, namely Kirisame Marisa and Margatoid, Alice, in the forest of magic. They seem to be participating in some kind of ritual.-

What the… Most of these are accurate except for the issue about conquering all the girls.

"I don't know. Besides I don't plan on doing that. As for the ritual, Marisa-san and Alice-san are just helping me recover my memories, in exchange for my services."

"Shut up! I don't believe you."

Reimu-san started to attack me. Avoiding her talismans are really hard. Some of them homes in to you, some of them are just painful when you're hit. I don't really want to use it since I barely know how to use this. After all, I just remembered this yester day. But I can't use it. I need to be in a steady position to do is but, being a target for a continuous barrage I can't. To make things worse, Reimu-san declared a spellcard.

"Spellcard: [Dream sign "Duplex Barrier"]!"

That was when I saw an opening. It's now or never, so I used it. The power of my little sister… The power of the wind…

"Oh, playful wind spirit, rage around as you please and lend me your power…"

The seal of the wind appeared in my hands.

"Now grant me the speed of the wind and take from in a blade."

In my hands appeared two short swords.

That instant, I felt the wind. I heard its voice. It wants to play. I moved with the wind. Playfully… Spontaneously…

Playing with the wind made me feel great. My body felt light. In fact, I can move at very high speeds with this. Defensively this is great but I have no offense. I'm just avoiding her shots.

"Onii-chan, I made five spell cards for you last night."

I heard Kana's voice.

Five cards appeared in my pocket. I checked them all while dodging everything that Reimu-san throws at me.

[Sylph Sign "Coriolis Effect"]

[Sylph Sign "Chinook Winds"]

[Sylph Sign "Turbulence"]

[Sylph Sign "Headwind"]

[Sylph Sign Ultima "F5 Twister"]

I have no idea on how use any of these, though basing it on the names; [Coriolis Effect] must have something to do with the deflection of my danmaku relative to the earth's rotation, and so on. I decided to use something that I'm very familiar with, [Coriolis Effect] is what I used. It's effect on projectiles at very close range is minimal to the point that it is negligible but for me that minimal deviation can mean life and death.

"Spell card [Sylph Sign "Coriolis Effect"]!"

Using the two short swords, I cut in to the air, a cut so powerful and fast that it cuts through the air without losing most of its momentum. I ravaged the air around me as the wind pleases. A very random barrage of cutting air or to say cutting wind moved towards Reimu-san but she still managed to evade them. Or so we thought. The cutting wind continued until it circled around the world after going through the barrier which separates Gensokyo with the outside world. That is where the shots were deviated and which surprisingly hits Reimu-san.

"Ouch! That was painful."

I have a bad feeling about this. And I was right. Playful and unpredictable, the cutting wind tore Reimu's clothes to shreds. I closed my eyes in time.

"Do you like what I did Onii-chan?"

"NO! You shouldn't do that Kana."

"Who are you talking to?"

I heard Futo-san and Reimu-san ask.

I then lost the feeling in my hands, or to say, I can't feel the two short swords I was using. Then I felt something on my cheeks.

"I'm back Onii-chan."

* * *

I can't believe what I'm looking at, it was Shiro-kun's little sister and she is kissing Shiro-kun in the cheek.

"Hello Onee-chan, I'm Kurokami Kana. I'm sorry about your clothes."

She turned to Reimu after kissing Shiro-kun in the cheeks and then bowed. She then moved towards Reimu and fixed her clothes in an instant, though it was more like the wind sewing it back together. She then whispered something to Reimu.

She then joyfully skipped toward me.

"Thank you, Futo-nee for taking care of my brother."

She bowed and I blushed.

Before I realized it, she was next to me and then whispred something to me.

"You won't be able to get Onii-chan like that. He's just simply too kind and selfless. If you want him, Futo-nee should be aggressive and take the initiative."

"Eh?"

"Wait!"

Reimu shouted to Kana.

"Sorry about this."

"Don't worry about it. I'm sure Onii-chan feels the same. Right Onii-chan?"

"She's right. I'm the one that should be apologizing though for letting her shred your clothes like that."

The four of us head inside to have some tea after which, Shiro-kun and I have to prepare Kana's room.

* * *

After watching from the shadows the battle between Shiro and Reimu that I set up with Aya's help, Soga and I felt somewhat disappointed. I thought that he would remember his secret, how he is close to immortality.

I sighed.

"So, Miko-sama, it didn't work?"

Soga asked me.

"Unfortunately, yes it didn't work."

"Something tells me that we should other methods."

"Like what?"

"Let's use Futo and Shiro's younger sister."

"What do you have in mind?"


	3. Chapter 3

Empty Desire

A Touhou Fanfic

Disclaimer

This is a work of fiction. All names, organizations, and events that resemble any real persons, organizations and events are purely coincidental. Though, some of the events and organizations are based on existing events and organization and is not own by the author. I do not own names, skills, and others that resemble other games, novels, manga, anime, and others.

* * *

Chapter 3: The Shadow Assassin

Ombra, the Darkness Spirit…

The spirit who has Shiro's shadow…

The spirit who has Shiro's dark past…

"Looks like it will be my turn next. We'll see if they would still like him if they saw his dark side."

"You need to dial it down, Ombra. If you show up now, he won't grow up."

"Don't worry about it Luce. I won't give him much."

Ombra grinned.

* * *

"Futo-nee, can I talk to you for a while…"

Kana-chan called me.

I wonder what this is about. We went to a vacant room quite far away from where Shiro-kun is.

"What is it Kana-chan?"

"Futo-nee, do you like Onii-chan?"

"Ehh, where did this come from?"

"I know that you have been spending a lot of time with him and your thinking about him quite a lot."

That was spot on but I'm more concerned about his life span. As a Taoist hermit, we have a goal of achieving immortality. Yet I completely lost sight of that ever since I got to know Shiro-kun. That is when I realized that Kana-chan may be right.

"What about it?"

"Will you love Onii-chan even if you saw Onii-chan's darkest side?"

"What are you talking about?"

"You'll see it when the time comes."

For some reason, Kana-chan looks a bit grim. I decided to not think about it I know it will bother me.

* * *

I'm currently shopping for supplies in the Human Village. I was walking around quite quietly. I really get to enjoy these since back at the Mausoleum they're always around me so some private time like these is very minimal. The only time they let me go is when I ask help from Marisa-san and Alice-san.

"Ara ara, Shiro-san, it's rare to see you alone."

It was the head maid from the Scarlet Devil Mansion, Sakuya-san.

"Sakuya-san, hello. Are you shopping as well?"

"Yeah."

"I you don't mind let me help you. I'm also shopping."

"Umm, thanks that would be great."

I helped Sakuya-san in carrying the heavy sacks of rice, along with our share of course. After walking for a while, we bumped into Youmu-san and Reisen-san.

"Ah, it's unusual to see Shiro-san here."

Youmu-san looked at me

"Umm, h-h-hello Sh-Sh-Shiro-san."

Reisen-san is as shy as ever with humans that is.

They then saw Sakuya-san behind me.

"Hello, Sakuya-san."

Both of them greeted her.

Then Youmu-san turned back to me.

"That must be heavy Shiro-san."

Youmu-san said as she looked at the four sacks of food I was carrying.

She's right these are quite heavy but thanks to my extreme conditioning, I can manage it.

"Well it is qui…"

Before I knew it, I blacked out again.

* * *

Another of my memories came back at me. The darkest side of past, the time I was with Kuroi Shirayuki. That was the time I completely destroyed an entire village and left no one alive. I did that for one reason and one reason only. It was my mission to do so.

"Kukukuku… DIE!"

I ripped out a guy's intestines while he was still alive. I then slowly nail his fingers to the wall and tore his body piece by piece, part by part until he told me what he knows.

"Useless guy."

I then left him to slowly bleed to death. I moved to the next person. That time, gender and age doesn't matter. Anyone who has seen me while I'm in the shadow assassin mode dies. More specifically, I will kill them.

"Good work Shiro."

Yuki said as she gave me a drink on our way back.

"I killed everyone again."

Back then, my eyes have a blank look. It was filled with death, despair, darkness.

"That was what you were ordered to do, Shiro."

"I can still hear their screams, their pleads."

"Shiro…"

I looked at Yuki. Then she took the chance to kiss me in the lips.

* * *

Futo-nee and I started to look for onii-chan. It has been five hours since he was gone. We searched for him in the human village.

"So where is Shiro-kun?"

Futo-nee asked.

"The wind can't find him."

We tried searching randomly around and heard that he was taken by three girls described to be a maid, a dual sword wielding swordsman, a rabbit yokai. That didn't help at all. We have no idea on where to start searching. While asking around, we met Soga-san. Everything went black afterwards.

* * *

I woke up in the Eintei. Still hazy, I sat down.

"How did I get here?"

I asked them.

"I brought you here."

Reisen-san said.

"Why do I feel euphoric?"

"It must be the medicine that Master gave you."

"Please tell me that it's not the Hourai Elixir and that nothing weird happened."

"Nothing weird happened and it's not the Hourai Elixir."

"Okay. Then what did you game me?"

"Something to help with your condition of blacking out from time to time."

"How much does it cost?"

"Done worry about it. Master just took some of your blood, saliva, and a thread of your hair."

"Wait, wait, wait… What do you mean by that?!"

"Master wanted some of your DNA. She said something about being the most unique human she has ever seen."

"Okay, if she found out anything, let me know. Even I am not sure of what I am."

"Umm, Shiro, how are thing between you and Mononobe-san?"

"What is that suppose to mean?"

"There are rumors lately that you and her are dating."

"Huh? We're not dating. She is a friend and the one that saved me when I first arrived here at Gensokyo five months ago."

"So you're not dating her or anything?"

"Yes, but if that is how people see it, I won't blame them though. It's their freedom. Anyway, it's getting late. I have to go back now."

"Wait, why not eat dinner here with us and the rabbits."

"Okay then."

* * *

When we woke up, Futo-nee and I are suspended in a rope in the middle of some room. Inside that room is Miko-san, Tojiko-san, and Siega-san.

"Miko-sama, what's going on?"

Futo-nee asked.

"Don't worry; it's just a plot to get Shiro to recover his memories."

Miko-san answered.

"If it's to get Onii-chan's memories back, I'll advice that you should stop this now."

"Nothing can stop us now. Plus it's quite boring these past few days and we wanted someone to have some fun."

Seiga-san said.

"If onii-chan get's here, this room will become your grave."

"What makes you say that, Kana-chan?"

Futo-nee asked me.

"It's about time Onii-chan gets his shadow back. His dark side."

No one here knows how serious the situation is. Now that Ombra, or should I say Kuroi Shirayuki, Onii-chan's ex-girlfriend, is giving back his shadow.

* * *

After getting out of The Bamboo Forest of the Lost, I decided to go to the Misty Lake for a walk. While waking there, I watched the fairies play on the other side of the lake. While walking there, I found myself in front of the Scarlet Devil Mansion. That reminded me of the things I bought earlier. I didn't have it in the Bamboo Forest, so Sakuya-san might know something. So I decided to visit. I sneaked in though because their gatekeeper is asleep.

I sneaked past the gatekeeper and went to Marisa-san's secret entry point to the library. After that, it was easy. I just have to sneak past Patchouli-san and her librarian, Koakuma. I know that it would be easier if I just ask for Sakuya-san but I have some issues with the mistress of this mansion, Remilia-san. On top of that, by blood type is B, her favorite blood type. After a few steps, without noticing, I'm near by the hall that leads to the mansion. This is where things get difficult. On top of the place being huge, there are only a few places to hide and I can't exactly wear a maid uniform and act as a maid.

After a while, I realized that I was lost. I don't have the slightest idea where am I. Then the event I feared happened. In front of me is Remilia-san and I'm standing outside her room.

"Ahh, Shiro. Did you come here to accept my offer?"

"I told you no."

"You won't change your mind if I tell you that you have a bloodline of a very powerful devil?"

"I won't and I already know that but its percentage is close to zero."

"Then what are you here for?"

Huh, for some reason, I feel hazy. I feel the strength of my body leaving and then, everything went black.

* * *

I started getting a hold of my consciousness again. For some reason, I feel something soft on my back and something quite warm. Also, I feel someone breathing on my neck. That was when I opened my eyes. There I saw Remilia-san sucking my blood from neck and it was painful. I then feel a bit light headed. It must be the effects of blood loss.

"Ummm, Remilia-san, please stop this. I'm feeling a bit hazy already. If you continue, I'll die from blood loss."

There was no reply. I looked at Remilia-san again and found her face looking like she's addicted to my blood. After channeling enough strength to get Remilia-san off of me, I pushed her off. What I saw after that is the thing that bothered me the most. That's right, it looks like she's drunk for some reason.

* * *

I'm currently in my room with Shiro. After drinking his blood, I feel euphoric. Now, I can't even control what I am doing. Looking at Shiro's scared and panicking eyes, I had the urge to tease him even more. I tried to pin him down once again. He didn't put up much of a resistance due to the amount of blood he lost. On top of that, I made it his fate to be lying there and be played with by me. I licked the spot that I bit earlier or more like licked the blood oozing out of there.

"Hii."

Shiro reacted in a cute way, unlike his cool and charismatic side we see most of the time.

"Prepare yourself for I won't let you rest tonight."

"I won't accept that!"

"Accept it, already. It's your fate. I made it that way."

"Then I just have to change it and make a miracle."

For some reason, I felt that he can do it. Change his fate that has been decided.

"I won't let you."

I decided do something very unorthodox. I injured my lip a bit and kiss him to force him do drink some of my blood. For a while he tried to struggle, but after a while, he stopped. That was when I bit on his mouth and drank some of his blood again. After that, I felt that I lost my vision. The room became void of light and darkness filled the entirety of the room. At first, I thought it was Rumia but, when the light turned on, Shiro was already behind me. That was when my hand started shaking. It was something I never felt for a long time. It was fear. His usual bright and calm aura was replaced by a very powerful, very dark, and very evil aura. On top of that, he has his shadow back. Though, for some reason, even though I feel afraid, I still feel at ease. Also, looking at him like this, my heart started beating faster. I don't know what it is. Then there's a gentle gust of wind blowing inside the room.

"What, Kana and Futo-san were held captive and if I don't go and rescue them, something bad will happen?"

He then said.

That was when I remembered that five months ago, he can somehow hear the voice of the wind and most of the time, he uses it to communicate with his sister and find out things from all over the place.

"Sorry, Remilia-san, but I'll talk to you after this."

For some reason his shadow surrounded him and he disappeared in front of me. I know that it wasn't a gap or speed so I wondered what happened. Also, I can't help feel jealous of Futo.

* * *

After leaving Remilia-san, I went to the place where Kana and Futo-san is being held. Feeling the power of my dark side, or my darkness as you will, I disposed of anyone in my way.

"GET THE OUT OF MY WAY PEONS!"

I moved past everyone there tearing them off with the Shadow Blade. Tonight, anyone who stands in my way will be killed. This is what happens if you accept the darkness in your hearts.

One of my abilities when utilizing this is the ability called [Shadow Pounce]. It is the ability that gained me the nickname, the shadow assassin. Being one with the darkness in my heart and the shadows of the world, I can virtually appear out of any shadow within visual range and disappear.

* * *

"What's taking him so long?"

Miko-san and the rest are getting tired of waiting for Onii-chan. As they were about to give up, someone came running in.

"MONSTER! DEMON! AHHHH!"

The next thing we knew is that his body turned to pieces and his blood was all over the place. No one was behind him. After that, for some reason, I felt the rope become loose and we were freed.

"What's happening?"

Futo-nee asked.

"It's Onii-chan and his really angry and very dangerous now."

"What do you mean? No one is here."

Miko-san said.

"Onii-chan is called the shadow assassin for this reason. You won't even see it coming and before you know it, you're already dead. On top of that, only six people so far has seen him like this and lived and it so happens that the six of us is like family to Onii-chan. This is why I told you that this is a bad idea. He will gain everything back in time and it so happened that he'll regain his shadow and the darkness in his heart tonight. What unlocked it is a devil's kiss."

"Miko-sama! Behind you!"

Futo-nee said and ran in between Onii-chan who just appeared in the shadows and Miko-san.

For some reason, Onii-chan stopped with the Shadow Blade only centimeters away from Futo-nee. There, Futo-nee did something unexpected. She held Onii-chan's hands and moved the Shadow Blade. After that, she kissed Onii-chan in the lips.

"Stop this Shiro-kun. They were only doing this to find out you secret to being so close to immortality and to help you get you memories back. I admit that at first I have ulterior motives for being so close with you but as time passed by I… I…"

Before finishing her sentence, Onii-chan collapsed.

* * *

I decided to follow Shiro's aura only to find a trail of dead bodies and I mean a lot of dead bodies. This scene is quite similar to Flandre's condition just on a more frightening way since he is aware of what he is doing.

Then there, I saw the bunch from the mausoleum carrying the passed out Shiro. I went there to ask what happened.

"What happened to Shiro? He was just with me a while ago and then he disappeared."

They then told me about how their plans went in to this downward spiral which ended in Shiro collapsing which I think is my fault for drinking his blood that made me a bit euphoric.

"Umm. About him fainting, it was my fault."

Then I told them on how I nearly raped Shiro after drinking his blood.

"WHAT!"

Then I heard Shiro's sister sigh.

"What's wrong Kana-chan?"

Futo asked her.

"At this rate, Onii-chan will really turn into a misogynist."

"What makes you say that?"

I asked her.

"This happens too often back then. Girls find it fun to tease him because of his cuteness when they do those things to him. Even I have the urge to do that from time to time."

All of us started to look at Shiro.

* * *

When I woke up, I heard voices outside the room. It was Futo-san and Remilia-san. They seem to be fighting about me. Then on my side is another set of spell cards.

[Ombra Sign "Vorpal Storm"]

[Ombra Sign "Shadow Weaving"]

[Ombra Sign "Shadowmoon Strike"]

[Ombra Sign "Shadow Strike"]

[Ombra Sign Ultima "Dark and Void Blackness of the Heart"]

Another set of spellcards in which I have yet again no idea on what they do. Though for some reason, my urge to kill has settled and I remember Futo-san trying to say something to me before I pass out last night. I know that it was important. After all, she kissed me before that.

As I stood out to go out, Remilia-san entered and said something outrageous.

"SHIRO! I challenge you to a danmaku battle! If you win, I won't drink your blood without your consent but if I win, you'll have to marry me."

"EHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Futo-san and I reacted.

I like to refuse but this is a good chance to test out my new spell cards but if I lose, that is where the problem arises. I then closed my eyes and took a deep breath. My body started to calm down. There I saw Yuki.

"Yuki?! I thought you're dead."

"I'm not but we can't be together again for I am no longer human and so are you."

"But…"

"You have them now. People who can accept the darkness in your heart."

"Will I see you again?"

"I don't know, but I'll always be with you now. As your power… As your weapon… As your shadow… I am now Ombra, the darkness spirit. I lend you my power when using those five spell cards."

"Wait!"

She disappeared. I then opened my eyes.

"Fine I'll do it but, if I win, you're still free what you want to do."

"Shiro-kun! That's not fair."

Futo-san said.

"I'm okay with it. But why? It would be like you not having any incentive when you win"

Remilia-san said.

"You're free to do what you want to. Win or lose, I'm responsible for what happens. I just have to make the most out of it. That is how I am. That is living."

Silence followed after.

"Onii-chan, you're just making them fall for you even more."

"That's non-sense. There is no way that will happen."

I know that they already have but I just can't accept it. After all, I'm still incomplete. I still don't know what I am or who I really am. Until then, I have no right to love or be loved. At least that is what I keep telling myself.

We will have the battle first before eating breakfast at least. Now that we are out, we started to battle. Remilia's danmaku kept flying all the way here. As expected of a 500 year-old vampire. I could say that they are hard to dodge. And her servant flyer keeps on chasing me. It is troubling me. Out of options, I decided to try out my new spell cards but I have to wait for this bombardment to stop or at least find a loophole which would give me a window of around five to ten seconds. I'm out of luck, I can't find any. So I thought of the only way I can. I used [Shadow Pounce] and timed my strike. It was a big gamble since one mistake could mean me losing. Luckily, I timed it right and was able to get her and stunned her for a few seconds.

"Oh, Spirit of Darkness, fill the air with fear and despair."

A different emblem on my hand appeared and a surge of dark aura can be felt.

"Now take form as my blade that cuts and severs light."

In my right hand now is a nodachi of pure black, from the blade to the hilt, and even the handle. Every inch of it is black. Now I can use the five spell cards I just obtained.

"Spell card: [Ombra Sign "Shadow Strike"]

I declared a spell card while Remilia-san is still getting ready.

Though I have no idea on what it does, I felt that in my subconscious mind that I know what it does and how to execute it. I began to slash the air releasing a crescent shaped projectile of dark energy. The attacks began to approach Remilia-san. To our surprise, the attack did nothing but pass through her. Apparently, the projectiles have no hitbox. Then it hit me. The reason why it is called "Shadow Strike", it is not the slashes themselves but their shadow is what is suppose to be the projectile.

"What was that? Are you giving up already Shi…"

She fell silent she felt the real attack. Small cut appeared as the slashes moved passed her from above which created the shadow that has the hitbox. Now, I'm the one on the offensive. Yet, as her inherent ability or fate has it, the time limit on my spell card expired and I can't use it again.

We continued to fight until our last remaining spell card.

"Spell Card: [Scarlet Sign "Scarlet Meister"]"

"Spell Card: [Ombra Sign Ultima "Dark and Void Blackness of the Heart"]"

Our spell cards clashed and well, a huge blast happened. The clearing of the smoke signaled the end of our battle. It was a draw.

* * *

Now, the four of us are eating breakfast by the shade mainly due to Remilia-san. I was eating peacefully when Futo-san and Remilia-san fought over on who will sit next to me.

"Futo-nee, Remilia-nee, I move so the you don't have to fight over who will sit next to Onii-chan."

Kana suggested and sat across me.

"Thanks Kana-chan."

Both of them said in unison.

"So, Shiro, let's get married. Of you do, all you have to do is to entertain me and I'm sure you'll like being the master of the Scarlet Devil Mansion."

"I won't let Shiro-kun do that! I found him and his body and soul belongs to me."

The two continued to quarrel while clinging on to me. I can't help but smile at the two who seem to be enjoying themselves. I also can't help feel sad since I can't reciprocate their feelings. I'm afraid to love and be loved again. I looked up the sky and wished that peaceful days like this would come again.

* * *

The five spirits inside Shiro started to meet again.

"We only have one year left until the seven day trial."

Luce emphasized on the real goal and the purpose of Shiro's existence.

"That's right, we have to pick up the pace."

Salamander said.

"I go to him next."

Undine said.

"Okay, but he'll become close to being untouchable with your power so make sure that you won't spoil him."

Ombra said.

"I know. I know. But what about Sylph? Is it okay for her to be staying with him like that?"

Undine said.

"It is. After all, she is the only one among us who still has a body."

Luce said.

"Who then will tell him about the seven day trial?"

Salamander asked.

"I'll do it but not now. We still don't know how will he react to knowing that the fate of the entire world rest in hands."

Ombra said.


End file.
